Recovery Association Project

Summer Quarter 2005 - Volume One Issue Three

Bre-Unification

By Bre Bedsaul

Although I am not in recovery myself, my life has been impacted by alcoholism and addiction for as long as I can remember, and has recently been blessed by recover. My parent's divorced when I was two years old and my father moved away. I was raised with only periodic visits with him, and as far back as I can recall he was a practicing alcoholic. I knew it wasn't a good thing, but it was the only way I knew him. I grew to expect little from him, but always hoped he would become the father I had always imagined. One day, when I was 17, my mother informed me that I had a brother… the son of my father through a previous relationship, making his 9 years older than I. Emotions flooded over me… anger, sadness and anxiety. I immediately began searching; using the Internet and phone to rack him down with what little information I had. I found his address and we exchanged a couple of letters within a few moths, a just as the excitement of discovering him began it ended with him disappearing without a trace. All hope of ever meeting him was lost. Little did I know he was lost to a lifestyle of addiction and criminality. Seven years passed and in one of my infrequent conversations with my father he informed me that my long lost brother had been sending him letters from prison for the past year, and that a letter had come addressed to me. I rushed to retrieve the letter and was also given the stack of unanswered letters addressed to my father. I read them all and began to know my brother, Richard, for the first time through his letters explaining his incarceration and recover from drug addiction and his desire to connect with his family. I began writing him faithfully for a year or so until he was released from prison and residing in one of Central City Concern's alcohol and drug-free community buildings in downtown Portland. Two months passed and I began working for the Recovery Association Project. I recognized Richard's address in the RAP database. I also had a conversation about him with one of the Recovery Mentors, Randy Sorvisto, who works in the building where Richard lives. The anxiety and expectations of finally meeting my brother in person were overwhelming. Then, one day, the miracle happened. Although I had never seen Richard in person, he had sent me a picture from prison; so I had an idea what he looked like. And while I was at work, I noticed Randy walking towards the building with a man with a familiar mane of red hair and I knew the moment I saw him, it was my brother. My heart leapt into my throat and I couldn't move... frozen by anticipation. Randy came upstairs and gently coaxed me to come downstairs to meet my brother, Richard. When I was introduced as Bre, he didn't realize it was me, his sister, until I told him my full name was Brenna and I lived in Vancouver, WA. He jumped up, gave me a huge hug and told me I was beautiful! We had finally reunited after 25 years of separation. I can't explain the emotions that swept through Richard and me, and those witnessing this event, but it was amazing. Today we both see recovery as the tie that finally brought us together. His recovery led him to the point of wanting to know and be available for his family, and my working for a recovery service provider brought me where I needed to be for this miracle to happen. Like I have said, I am not personally in recovery, but I am grateful for it because it has given me my brother back. The events leading up to our unification may be seen as coincidence by some, but I believe there is a powerful force around recovery and that it had a lot to do with the paths my brother and I were on when they came together in one of the happiest days of my life. Today I enjoy getting to know Richard. We talk on the phone all the time; visit often and we love each other unconditionally. Our pasts are of no consequence, looking forward only to the future… one day at a time.

My Miracles of Recovery

By Richard Jensen

All my life, deep down, there has been a hole that I have tried to fill. There was separation, loneliness, and low self-esteem. I have spent most of my life curious about my father. Over the years, I have been very angry and resentful toward him for not being there for me, spending most of my adult life under the influence of drugs and alcohol. With them, I was able to hide the true feelings I was feeling. A scared little boy, who felt abandoned, lonely, and disappointed, found a way out -a way to escape from it all. This story is not going to be about the next fifteen years of chaos, corruption, and loss this little boy went through but instead a story about the importance of family and the miracles recovery has made possible for him.

My name is Richard Jensen; words only do so much justice for the emotions that I am feeling about the miracles of recovery. The Recovery Mentor and P.A.H.C. treatment programs have influenced me in a way immeasurable to anything I have experienced in my lifetime. These programs have shown me a pathway to a much more positive way of living. By trusting in God and having faith in the process, I know that anything is possible.

God has blessed many areas of my life, showing me the way to recovery, bringing family together and giving that family love. I was recently, for the first time, introduced to my sister, Brenna. Meeting her has filled some of that hole inside of me, and answered many of the questions I have lived with all this time. Being a part of the recovery community and learning a new way to live, has given me the opportunity to feel real feelings again. In my eyes, this truly is the biggest blessing in the world. It is amazing what can happen if you stay clean and life a life in recovery.

I love you Brenna and I am so thankful to have you in my life. You have given me much inspiration; and the wholeness I feel makes day much clearer and the heavens much brighter. Building a relationship with you has truly become a priority in my life. I feel we have a deep connection and irreplaceable love that I never want to lose.

Meeting you and pursuing a relationship with my sister has really done something for me. The feelings I have for Brenna are so big they soften a lot of anger and resentment I felt for so long towards our father. This truly is the work of God in our lives.

None of this would be possible without a clean date, the works of recovery, and a Power larger than us. I am so grateful for what I have an who I am becoming. Internal wealth is priceless and I feel as if I am becoming the richest man in the world, looking so forward to what is yet to come. If I had written down what I wanted to get out of recover on 10/10/2003, the day my whole life changed, I would have sold myself short.

Truly, miracles happen and lives to change.